Shutting down

Since I am no longer pregnant, I don't need a pregnancy journal. If you still want to keep up with my daily randomness go to: http://mzcelaneous.blogspot.com.

Thanks!

PPD is no joke

As much as I want to talk about it, I'm at loss for words right now. Postpartum Depression is a bitch and I wish I didn't feel the way I feel.

Great news!

Great news!, originally uploaded by cel..

Baby M tested NEGATIVE for Galactosemia!! Hooray!!!

Thank you all for your prayers and support!!! I truly appreciate it!

Being a new mother the 2nd time around...

Being a new mother the 2nd time around..., originally uploaded by cel..

...should be easier right? Granted, its been six years but I've already been through the leaky diapers, late-night feedings, sore nipples, non-existent sex life, and the colicky cries. So, why does it seem so much harder now?

Maybe it's because back then I was a SAHM for my daughters first year of life. I was her sole provider. Now, with my son, I have to go back to work when he's a month and a half. I'm already dreading returning! I already have seperation anxiety. I'm trying my hardest to take advantage of the time I have with him now, but I can't help but be depressed about it.

With my daughter, I breastfed exclusively for 18 months. In the beginning it was tough because she too had jaundice and was supplemented with formula, but I pumped and bottle-fed her my milk until she got used to the breast (although it took 2 months). Now with my son, it took 9 days postpartum for my milk to come-in and even so, it's not even
enough. I only pump enough to barely cover the bottom of the bottle per double-pumping session. I should be getting at least 1.5 ounces by now. That reason and because we're still pending the results of his Galactosemia test, I've been supplementing with a soy-based formula. It's so frustrating and stressful. I know the stress may be attributing to my low milk supply, but damn I'm doing everything I can! I really do try hard to stay positive, I attempt to nurse at every feeding for half an hour if he latches on, and I pump for 15-20 minutes afterward. I'm even taking some galactogues (Mother's Milk tea & Fenugreek seed pills). Imagine, nursing for 30 minutes, bottle-feeding for 20, then pumping for another 20 minutes 7-10 times a day just to establish my milk supply?!

I AM EXAUSTED!

My goal is to nurse exclusively once the negative test results are in, which should've been yesterday but his pediatrician said it can take another week. Great. I've only got 4 more weeks to accomplish this goal otherwise I'll have to formula feed which is something I really don't want to do. I know formula is just as good as breast milk. After all the Mr. was formula-fed and I know a ton of smart individuals and other kids who were as well, but I feel like like such a failure if I can't even nurse for a few months.

It doesn't help that my son cries bloody murder at every diaper and clothing change or that I have a 6 year old who needs to be driven to and from school 5 days a week. Oh and don't forget having to help with homework too. This is all so overwhelming and I can't imagine how much harder it'll be when I return to work. How do you working moms do it?!

I just want to give up sometimes.

We're finally home!

We're finally home!, originally uploaded by cel..

Just wanted to pop in and let everyone know that we're finally home!

Ready for the labor story? It's not that interesting, hah.

Late saturday morning (01/19/07) I was feeling ill. My nose was stuffy and my throat was itchy so I decided to stay in bed. At around noon, Miss G was watching cartoons in the living room and was busy entertaining herself and the Mister was...well, sleeping still. I started to have this dull lower back ache. Didn't think much of it, just thought it was because I wasn't feeling too good. It started to get worse and worse after an hour and it seemed to come and go. At this point I'm thinking..."hey, are these contractions?" so I decided to time them. Sure enough, they were 4-7 minutes apart. M woke up shortly after and asked if I was doing ok and I told him I was. I told him I might be having false contractions and that it was nothing to worry about so he asked me if I wanted to help him make brunch. I told him I would, thinking the pain would go away once I got up.

Nope. Not one bit. M told me to call the advice nurse just in case and she told me that it sounded like I was a bit dehydrated and to just drink 4 glasses of water. If within the next 20 minutes after drinking, the pain was getting stronger and the "contractions" were 2-3 minutes apart, just walk into labor & delivery.

Yep. They were getting way stronger and weren't only in my lower back but were wrapping around to my lower abdomen now. I told M "it's time" and he took for-freaking-ever to get ready and leave. Miss G was dropped off at a friends house down the street from the hospital and there I was admitted at around 3:30pm.

When the Dr. checked me, I was already 5 centimeters dialated and 100% effaced. Hot damn, great timing for an epidural!!! I swore I'd go all natural again, but these back contractions were a pain I've never experienced in my life. Abdominal contractions with Miss G felt like horrible menstrual cramps. After blood work which seemed like an eternity (2 hours later!), I finally received that miracle of a drug. You do not know how relieved I was! I was ready to take a nap and wait until later that evening to go into active labor.

But no no no. 15 minutes later, the Dr. checks me again just to make sure and there I was 10 centimeters dialated and fully ready to push this baby out!!! 4 or 5 pushes and 15-20 minutes later, at 5:57pm, Baby M is here.

Yea. Crazy stuff.

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Anyway, the whole time at the hospital I was in freak-out mode. First they suspect a heart murmur (later an EKG proved he's fine), then he fails to latch on properly the first day (he was totally un-interested in the boob), and the next day the Dr. says our blood type incompatibilities may cause jaundice. The day after, he's admitted into the NICU for phototherapy. Ugh.

But that's not it. Yesterday, the Dr. suspects Baby M has Galactosemia, a serious rare condition that can cause speech delay, growth problems, cataracts, poor motor control, and learning disabilites. Two urine tests were positive so a blood test was sent out and the results of that doesn't come back until next week.

Please pray/think good thoughts/send good vibes/cross your fingers for baby M. We really hope he doesn't have this condition. I've been an emotional mess since then and I'm really trying my hardest to stay positive.

Thank you.

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View more photos here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mzcelaneous/sets/72157603791617571/

9 months...

...and STILL FREAKIN PREGNANT!

I've got 11 more days until my due date but I've been trying anything and everything to speed up the process. At my last dr's appointment on tuesday, I was 2 centimeters dialted but barely effaced. Ugh.

I ate half of a (fresh) pineapple, ate spicy food, had sex, walked a ton but NOTHING is working. N-o-t-h-i-n-g. Any suggestions ya'll? I'm desperate.

No baby yet

Thought I'd check in to let everybody know that nope, no baby here yet. Although my due date is in 13 days we expected baby M to arrive early just like his sister but no. Last weeks appointment (@ 37 weeks) everything was the same -- not dialated/effaced at all and no contractions. Yesterday at my 38 week appointment I found out that I'm 2 centimeters dialted. Woo-hoo for some progress!!! No "real" contractions yet and not effaced enough. Boo.

My next appointment is the day before my due date which is the 28th. Hopefully, I'll have the baby before then!

36 weeks & 5 days

I'm ready already.

Super ready.

Want. This. Baby. Out. Now.

I'm soooo tired of being pregnant!!!

I got some maternity photos done :)

I got some maternity photos done :), originally uploaded by cel..

1. Baby On The Horizon, 2. Cel(ly)'s Belly, 3. Sweet Mama Cel, 4. Cel

ETA : (more photos)
Thanks to the lovely pumpkinoodle, Penelope's Loom, & Diyosa.

Also check out Deirdre's photos of myself.

You guys are awesome :) Thanks so much!